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Deuteronomy 31:6 - "So, be strong and Courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them, for The LORD Your God (Jehovah-Elohim) will PERSONALLY go ahead of you. He will neither fail nor abandon you. Genesis 37 - 50 is the story of Joseph, and one of the most quoted verses of that story is in the final chapter - Gen. 50:20: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Many verses of scripture tell us not to fear, not panic, and to be courageous, and yet we who are still healing are often unsure just how to do that. Fear in us is heightened; it can be overpowering! Our traumas and abuse have rubbed that edge to a fray, and the slightest breeze can send us into a panic. How, then, do we get to a place where we can confidently follow this command? The answer is in these verses as well (because God always gives us what we need to be able to follow the commands He gives us.) Because the LORD (JEHOVAH - the self-existent/eternal), your (personal) God (Elohim - supreme God), goes ahead of you and will not fail or abandon you, this is why you can live without fear. You can face hard things, even toxic people and trauma triggers, without panicking. BECAUSE God (Elohim) intends everything for good, even to the saving of many lives - you can walk through the lies told of you, the people who have abandoned you, and also the triumphs without fear. Because of who God is and the fact that He is good and does good things, He is love and loves us unconditionally, and He never changes - we know we can trust Him. When we surrender to the safety of His protection, we can rest in perfect peace, walk without fear, and no matter what we come up against, there will be no need to panic. God is our security, protection, and everything we need to break free from a life of fear. Fear causes hardened hearts; it sucks the life-giving "water" of love right out of the soil of our hearts. (see Mark 4 and the parable of the sower) However, if we continue to allow God's love in, those hard-packed, dry places break open and soften up. Soft hearts are able to receive more love and, therefore, grow and multiply that love to others. "Perfect love casts out fear." 1 John 4:18 If we want to live a full life free from the fear we have been under, we must break down walls and replace them with gated fences. We need healthy boundaries - which leave room for love to enter, rather than fortified walls - which trap us in isolation. Knowing the difference is essential, as well as knowing who or what to enter the gate. That is why knowing God for who He is is so important - it shows us we can trust the love He offers! He is safe to open up and be vulnerable with, and He will stitch up the places that have been torn and frayed!

My prayer wall is called Beer-lahai-roi, it's the name given to the well where Hagar was met by God. "The God who sees me" she called Him - and a more accurate translation is "The God who has been seeing me." Hagar knew God had seen her in the midst of her abuse and Betrayal. She met God and knew He could be trusted to provide for her and keep her. She knew he saw tge whole story, past, present AND future! She trusted Him enough to obey even when it didn't make sense. She learned that being seen by God was enough, she didn't need to be seen by Sarah or Abraham or anyone else, because God saw, knew, understood, cared and acted on her behalf. God sees you too. Come to the well of the Living one who sees you and drink of the water of life. Learn HOW he sees you and embrace that identity and you can walk in freedom even in the midst of the tangled mess. Your tapestry will be completed, and it will be a beautiful masterpiece!

As we are on our healing journeys, let us not forget that balance in life is important. It is so easy to go from one extreme to the other when we are trying to get away from abuse, betrayal, and our own toxic responses to it. The tendancy to close myself off from everything was huge when I first started realizing the situation I was in in my marriage. I was fast on my way from people pleaser to a raging, angry, bitter person who just wanted vengance. Because I hated the swing from one extreme to the other that I had seen both in my dad and in my husband, I was thankfully more aware of it and able to allow God to help me find the balance. I have continued to learn in the following years more and more what balance looks like, and how it helps not only heal, but prevent more harm in the future. I hear so often about women who have had some of the scripture and truths we discussed on Mornings With Jesus recently, in Romans 15:1-6 about being selfless, having grace, and supporting others when they are weak, used to keep them in their abusive situations. To guilt them into believing that having boundaries, standing up for their own safety, is "not being a good Christian" or "not a good wife/partner/friend..." Understanding what scripture is actually saying is so important. It's the difference between "nice" and "kind", between "peacekeeping" and "peacemaking." Kind is what we find in the balance between Hateful and "too nice", Peacemaking is the balance in between being careless of others and people pleasing. When we are healing it is important to read scripture as it is, and in context, so we can see what God actually says. Don't let the trauma, abuse, and lies be your filter for truth. Instead, filter your responses and beliefs through the Love of Christ and the truth of scripture. This way we can start speaking truth to ourselves and embracing our identity in Christ which will bring about the full healing we desire. When we understand who God is, really know his heart, it will show us healthy ways of relating to others. Ways that are loving, balanced, and helpful, as well as boundaried and truthful. What are some of the areas you struggle in when it comes to balance? What questions do you have about healthy boundaries?