June 25, 2021
I want a Godly Man – but what does that really mean?
I want a Godly Man. We who have been raised in the church, or even just in the Bible belt, have been known to say this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, it’s what we should want. Being a Godly woman and starting a family with a Godly man is part of God’s design for relationship. I have come to realize though, that many of us, including me, never really thought in detail about what that really means.
The idea of a “Godly Man”
The idea I had of wanting or having a Godly man was kind of vague. It was this rose-colored happy feeling more than a thought-out list of what that actually looks like. It was the expected thing to say, what all good Christian girls should want, and nothing more. I didn’t ever intentionally think it out.
Looking back, I can now see that a Godly Man, as an idea, for me, was this super spiritual guy. Someone who could be (and possibly was) a pastor, always quoting scripture. This translated into someone I felt I could never live up to. Someone who never really had any fun, who I would always be striving to be good enough for. Looking at it that way, I know THAT is not what I really wanted. And to be honest, who does!? We don’t go out with the purpose to find someone that makes us feel inferior. Thank goodness it isn’t what “A Godly Man” really means either.
So, what does this mean for me? I mean, after 22 years of marriage that's ending in divorce, I have learned a few things. I have learned for sure the things I don’t want – but how do I shift now and find that truly Godly man, how do I know what I DO want?
The song that got me thinking
As I walk through my healing journey, I am learning to recognize trauma triggers as they come and how to appropriately deal with them. Lately songs have been major triggers for me. My youngest loves country music, and so does my soon to be ex, so even the genre is hard for me at times. Country music is full of all kinds of triggers anyway – love songs, he/she done me wrong songs... you get the idea. This one particular song came on the radio the other day, however, and it was all about how he was going to take his wife out dancing when he got home, even though he had a hard day at work. He sings that he’s going to “work hard at loving you”. That is the song that got me thinking…that’s what I want!
(I searched and searched, but cannot figure out what artist or even the title to that song, if you recognize it, let me know! I would love to include it!)
Definitions of Godly
We are told to be Godly girls, so we can find a Godly man. This is truth – it’s how it works best! We need to be who God designed us to be so we are ready for the man we are going to be with. For both things, however, knowing what that “church word” Godly means is essential. It’s not a "pie in the sky, gonna happen just because I wish it to be so" thing.
Godly is defined in the dictionary as “devoutly religious, pious” – no wonder we think of it as a boring old stick in the mud! (I noted too that in the dictionary it’s a little “g” godly) If you search for “What does it mean to be Godly” it gets a little closer to an accurate description. “Conforming to the laws and wishes of God; devout; pious. coming from God; divine”. Now, Divine I can go for… lol. No, but really, conforming to the laws and wishes of God is more what I want to aim for.
Search for “What is the biblical definition of Godly” and we get a much more accurate view. “The quality or practice of conforming to the laws and wishes of God; devoutness and moral uprightness: To be wise is to live in godliness, reflecting the nature of the kingdom of God in the course of everyday life.” Now that sounds beautiful! That is what I want to be as well as find in a spouse.
What a Godly man really looks like
So, thinking this out now, with an older, more experienced view – here is my list of characteristics I want to see in not only any potential future spouse, but also in myself.
Right living – good moral compass, does right simply because it is right (Rom. 12)
Love like Christ. (Sacrificially, unconditionally, fully) (1 Cor 13)
Go, be Godly – Find Godly men!
So, in the end, yes, I want a Godly man. I also want to be a Godly woman! I am so thankful it doesn’t mean I can’t be me and have fun! Being all the things listed above are the way to have my best life – the one God designed for me. Finding a man that is all those things too? Icing on the cake of blessing! Let’s pay attention to what we say we want, make sure we know what we are talking about and then also how to go about finding it!