Letting my husband come home after jail was a big decision, and it wasn’t easy to make, but I prayed hard, watched his life, and took several things into consideration.

1. Some people hear “sex offender” and immediately think “child molester”. That is completely inaccurate! While child porn is what he was convicted of, there is so much more to the story, not the least of which is that he never had physical contact with any one underage, or even under 25. His issue really is pornography itself. You can end up with illegal pictures on your computer even if you didn’t search for them and, anyway, just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s safe.

2. He was in therapy (and still is) to which I have full access to ask his therapists anything and they have his permission to tell me. He is actively progressing in this therapy and it shows in how he behaves, his attitudes and more.

3. I have support around me that helps keep me from ignoring things I shouldn’t or going to the other extreme and policing him too much (God’s job, not mine!)

4. I learned the importance of monitoring what comes into our home, and being open and honest with our boys about sex and relationships as well as all the stuff you usually think to teach them, and also, better communication with DH.

When it comes to today’s media (whether it’s tv, movies, social media, or just the ease of access to anything and everything) it seems impossible to keep your family safe. And while it’s true you can’t control everything (and it’s honestly not the best way to do it anyway) you can have control over what you allow into your home. 

Home should be a safe-haven from the world and it’s stresses and temptations, a place where you are safe to express your feelings, your weaknesses and fears as well as your triumphs. It should be the one place you can go to get all your questions answered in a non-judgmental, thought provoking way. Home is ideally somewhere you are able to learn and form your own thoughts and convictions as you grow.  
So, how do we control what we allow in our own homes? How do we protect our family from undue influences that want to sneak in and corrupt when we are least aware? The best way I found, along side open communication,  is to use a filtering program. The one I used most and am more familiar with is Covenant Eyes. It gives you the options to filter as much or as little as you need to for each individual in your family, with the added benefit of being able to select an accountability partner ( or three) who gets regular reports and also “You may want to check on…” emails.

When we had individual devices for everyone, we had Covenant Eyes downloaded on every device. I could control what time and how long each individual could access the internet at all. Perfect for bedtime for the youngers! Plus, you cannot log on to the internet without logging in to Covenant Eyes first. The administrator account for your family (whoever you choose that to be) gets notified if the app is uninstalled too. It really helped us talk with our boys about stuff and gave us information on how to approach issues, along with helpful data about how our brains work and more, like this Free e-book .

It’s so much more than just a filtering program!

The customer care and support teams are amazing, I have had to call them for tech support, billing issues ( like, budget can’t handle it this month, but…) and every time they were super helpful, understanding and kind!

A friend of mine uses Disney Circle, and while it doesn’t have the Christian foundation, it does have some neat features Covenant Eyes does not include. It not only protects your families individual devices, but also protects your home no matter what device is brought in, if someone connects to your wifi, their access is filtered too!

I also try to support businesses that avoid supporting the porn industry. PayPal has recently popped up on my radar because they have decided to take the bold and courageous step to not accept payments for sites like Pornhub. You can read more about it and send them a thank you here.

What are some of the things you have tried? Do you have a favorite?

Tell me how I can Pray for you!


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