Jan. 7 2022
What life lessons did I learn in 2021? How will that help me reset in 2022?
Every new year people talk about looking back at the year just passed and I feel that is a good practice. I think we should do it more often than once a year, but here we are in January 2022, so let’s take a look.
“Deliverance” Was my word last year. I was hit with a major blow to my plans, to my marriage and therefore to my family in October of 2020. My husband at the time was arrested – again. There was, at this time, another revelation of his continued infidelity. My marriage was clearly over at this point – no getting around it. He had chosen his addiction.
My dad, when he found out, called me and said “This is your ‘deliverance from Egypt’. You are free from the bondage now.” This was one of the best conversations I’ve had with him in a long time, and I was so grateful for his compassion. I wasn’t blamed or shamed for the failure of my marriage, I was encouraged to focus on myself and my healing.
Life Lesson 1
Freedom is paramount to God.
The main life lesson was that God values freedom. Sometimes this freedom comes in exactly the way we were hoping it would. Other times (I find it to be most times) it comes in completely surprising, and sometimes difficult, ways. Trusting God to protect you and provide a way out of bondage situations brings peace – the beginning of freedom.
I prayed for, fought for, and expected God to free my husband from his addiction and restore our family in that way. At the same time, I trusted him to do what he knows to be best. A “not my will but yours be done” as well as “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief” prayer. As I learned this important life lesson, I walked it out one day at a time.
I had gotten to the point already where I was wondering if the marriage was over. I had changed my prayers to “Are you telling me to leave now?” before I got that “I’m in jail” phone call in October. That phone call was my very clear answer. God had set me free. Delivered me from my attempts to fix. I was Delivered from the trauma bond that I didn’t even realize I had formed. Did I like the way it happened? No. Absolutely not. However, I am thankful for my freedom and the life lesson learned. I am now able to truly heal. I am able to see who God says I am much more clearly.
Life Lesson 2
Knowing who God says you are is healing
This life lesson was hard earned. However, being set free from that situation helped me to see that my identity wasn’t what I thought it was. When introducing myself, it was common to say “I’m his wife” or “I’m (one of my kids’) mom”. That is not how God sees me. He sees me individually, and I am Royalty. I am Purified, Sanctified, Loved…
There are so many beautiful ways my Good Father identifies me. I have simply to accept it as true – believe it, and walk in that identity. Once I was able to do that I truly began to heal and find my freedom in Christ. Of course, to believe and walk in that identity, I must first know who he is and know who he says I am. Knowing who he is, that is essential to my ability to believe what he says about me.