You can find truth beyond your trauma. In the Wilderness times following trauma it can be hard to trust anyone. “Trust God” is a hard statement to hear. However, believing that God is good through the wilderness times leads to obedience. Then, obedience through belief leads to freedom and promises fulfilled.
Hebrews 3 reminds us of the Isrealites and their hardened hearts in the wilderness. They believed that God was there but they no longer believed God was good. I recognized as we were reading through this chapter together that the response the Isrealites were having was a Trauma Response! As their leaders guided them and showed them what God was saying, they kept expecting Egypt.
Truth beyond trauma in the wilderness
In Exodus 16 The Isrealites are starting to grumble. They were promised a land of milk and honey, but dry desert was the only thing in their view. Though it was slavery, what they were used to is what they continued to long for. God, in frustration, but still love, sent them meat at night and bread from heaven during the day. He showed them the truth – that he was good and would provide. Unfortunately, they had trauma bonded to the Egyptian lords. So when they saw the good things God gave them, they did not believe him still. They complained that there was no garlic and other spices. They did not listen when He said to only gather what was needed for that day. Their doubt of God’s goodness led them to disobedience. This disobedience resulted in maggot filled bowls in the morning. Now they had their “proof” that God was not good.
Trauma bonds and the lies
Trauma bonds are formed by abusers and narcisists that slowly but surely convince us that the lies they are telling us are actually the truth. Take our Isrealites in Egypt. They had lived so long under that abuse and slavery that it became “normal” to them. After their release we can see the trauma bond clearly. Despite the fact they had prayed for that release. Before they had even gotten out of Egypt they complained as soon as it got a little hard. They had the smoke by day and fire by night showing God’s leading, but still didn’t see the good. Though they clearly saw God’s leading and provision 24/7, as soon as they got to the Red Sea they grumbled. “Why have you brought us out here just to die, we would be better off where we were”.
Our Trauma bonds
I saw the same kind of Trauma Bond in both my husband and myself. His childhood abuses had left him truama bonded. He would literally hear me say derogatory things when I tried to be encouraging. Things like ” you’re just a loser and a failure” even though I was saying exactly the opposite. My ex husband had become so used to everyone telling him those kinds of things that he believed them to be true. The belief was so strong that there were times I hadn’t spoken at all and he would get upset. Claiming I had said something derogatory to him.
For me, I became trauma bonded to both my dad and my husband at the time. I belived that there was nothing I could do right. No matter how hard I tried to do it exactly how I was asked, it was never good enough. I also believed that it was my job and responsibility to be on the lookout for ways to help non stop. I became the designated fixer. This led to being an enabler instead of actually being a help to the ones I loved. I was also stuck thinking “If I don’t stay and support and help, then it will all fall apart. It will all be my fault”.
Truth beyond the Trauma
I have learned through the years and through embracing my identity in Christ what the real truth is. Once you get beyond your trauma and start to heal you can begin to see it as well. The truth is God loves you. The Good Father who created you, loves you unconditionally. That one great truth encompasses so many other beautiful truths. Get to know God. This will help you to see yourself rightly – in the truth of who He says you are. Once you embrace those truths you will start to experience real, lasting healing.
Want to hear more and explore this Deliverance through your identiy in Christ? Join me for a weekend with Jesus. There will be Live stream sessions, recorded breakout sessions (including mine “Know God, Know Self, Know Healing”) as well as a Q&A panel. Get an email with more information by clicking here. Get your tickets here.