Having a Reset Mindset -what does that mean? My word for 2021 was Deliverance, and now in 2022 God has given me “reset” as my focus. So, let’s look at what that means.
We reset our computers, reset timers, our metabolism, Monday or the first of the month are resets in our minds. And of course – January 1! The most common time when we have a reset mindset. So, this being the end of December – let’s look at this mindset and see how it can be used best. I believe we may have misunderstood the assignment.
What does it mean to reset?
re·setDefinitions from Oxford Languages
set again or differently.
“I must reset the alarm”
cause (a binary device) to enter the state representing the numeral 0.
I asked my middle son what he thought of when he hears the word “reset”. Here’s his list:
- Start over
- begin again
- back to square one
- do over
- “not again”
- ADHD overload.
I found this list very interesting. The first 5 were the types of things I expected. The switch into a negative feeling surprised me a bit. Though once I thought about it, I get it. We tend to want to just keep going on the path we are on. Growth has the idea of “just keep on keeping on” many times. We don’t tend to want to have to start a project over – that implies we messed something up. It makes us feel like all that time we already spent was wasted. I know I tend to just keep trying to fix the mess by just changing direction in the midst of it. But if we are standing in a tangled mess of ropes and we keep trying to struggle through, just switching directions it just gets more tangled. We must stop, look at what is there and have a reset of our tactics.
A reset mindset is a mindset of being able to stop, evaluate, and start over again. We need to be willing to see that the tactics we are using are not working, and likely are making things worse. Remember, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is insanity! If we are to truly grow, we must be able to reset, to start over differently. Let’s look at some areas we can use this new mindset.
The next step
Coming out of one season and moving into another is how life flows. When the season you were in was extra hard, sometimes you need to actually be uprooted and reset in a whole new season, place, situation… A plant that was in the wrong soil and environment can stay alive for a time. However, if it is to grow and thrive it needs to be transplanted into new soil and moved to the proper environment, everything must change. This is deliverance – being taken out of the trauma.
The next step to helping it heal and grow is to work very gently with it and start over as if it were a new sprout being planted. It needs extra nourishment and constant evaluation to make sure it is getting what it needs. We are the same way. Once we have been delivered from our traumatic situations, we must reset, start over, and consistently reevaluate how this new season and environment can help us to heal, grow and thrive.
I have been working on establishing new habits, and reestablishing good habits I used to have. I was falling into a pattern of laziness in this past year. It didn’t start because I am generally a lazy person – I’m not, I love to be up, moving, accomplishing.
It was a slow progression of forgetting to take my thoughts captive and remember the truth of who I am. I had a “new disclosure” as we call it in Betrayal Trauma circles. It was a big one, and done in a rather traumatic way too. And it was on top of another entire year of me trying to hold everything together and “fix it” .(“It” being my marriage, but in action, attempting to fix my husband). This set off some trauma responses, which put me in a stress cycle again. Stress cycles bring on Lupus flares, depression, anxiety and just so much fatigue.
I fell into my old patterns of response and was isolating myself, trying to sleep away the feelings. This of course led to my house being in even a bigger mess than it was before, which stressed me out more, which led to more isolation and sleep….. You see where I’m going.
I know you have probably had a similar cycle happen to you. At first I tried to just force myself to get up and “do what you gotta do”. I ended up more exhausted, so much so that I was getting physically sick. Migraines every two weeks at least, constant upset stomach, even a fever with no reason at one point.
Recognizing the need to reset
God has spent the last year delivering me from one bondage area at a time, and I am excited to see where a reset (or 10) will take me in 2022!!
I finally realized I needed a complete mindset change. I needed to truly stop, rest, and reset my focus. It has been a process, and it has taken over a year to get where I am with lots of inner work. I have been delivered, and now it’s time to reset. Finding my energy and identity again meant taking thoughts captive and evaluating them. Breaking free from the lies I had believed for so long. It’s taking those thoughts and resetting to what I know to be true. It’s a process, and it takes time.
One of the first ways I needed to change my mindset to thinking about resetting was in forgiveness. I needed to evaluate and adjust my beliefs about what forgiveness even meant. I needed to examine my heart and acknowledge both where I had forgiven, but kept feeling guilty because I thought I hadn’t and where I still needed to forgive.
Boundaries are so important, especially when we are working to rebuild ourselves and our lives after trauma. Boundaries help us stay safe, and help us remember who we are. I had to learn, first, what boundaries are and then how to set them in loving firm ways. I also had to reset my thinking around what boundaries really needed setting. There were some I needed to let go of and some I needed to implement quickly.
Reset Mindset – this year
So, as I go into 2022 I am going to be on the lookout for what needs a complete reset. I know that means I will likely be making a lot of big, scary changes. However, I also know that God is on my side as his child and He will guide me and be with me through it all. I’m willing to have a mindset of reset in every area of my life (Whew that was scary to even type!). I am committed to seeing with new eyes and searching diligently for what God has for me!
How about you? Are you ready to look for places that need a reset in your life? Let’s walk with Jesus together through it! I know I could use some good accountability structures – come join me this year as we learn, grow and reset as needed!!